just tell him i said nine months
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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