so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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