i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
