hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
