when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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