haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
