I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner