I cannot find my penis.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence