rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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