You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
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okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
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