I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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