A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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