i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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