I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
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You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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