Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
