i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
