I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
