omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
