No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize