The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we should paint friendship bongs
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize