i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize