she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize