4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
