Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
