Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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