Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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