Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
