shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize