How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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