Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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