I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
