is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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