people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
