Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
