I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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