Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
