I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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