ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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