Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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