Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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