Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
