he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
