so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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