morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
