1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
