R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ketchup is God's man juice
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
