i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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