I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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