And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
why does every cop we meet know your name?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
