I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
