Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
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I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
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Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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