You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
