the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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