he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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