If that was your dad, he is hot
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
