My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
