If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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